depression ruined my life

Depression ruined my life - Home | FacebookImportant ad2 February, 2021 at 8:21 AM Visit for latest updates and information on the response of BU to COVID-19. Students can find additional information in and . University PublicationsPOV: Hiring My Depression Almost destroyed my JobTime to eliminate the stigma of depression and start talking about mental health If you spent some time on social media recently, you certainly saw hundreds—nay, thousands—of people who reflected on the recent suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. Some wondered what might have motivated these two wildly successful people to take their own lives. Others pointed out that we can never know the pain of someone else, and that, in any case, only because someone leads a seemingly blessed life does not mean that she or he cannot suffer depression. The New York Times tweeted useful book recommendations that explored depression, including Andrew Solomon's classic, the midday demon. Three books that explore what leads to suicide, and tolls of depression and emotional pain. — New York Times Books (@nytimesbooks) Three books that explore what leads to suicide, and the tolls of depression and emotional pain. — New York Times (@nytimesbooks) Many suggestions were made to help people suffering from depression: Not everyone who is suffering has the ability to reach help. So if you're not suffering from depression, you come. I was lucky to have such a person in my life many years ago. He saved my life. You could be that person to your loved ones. (1800)-273-8255 — Shireen Unvala (@shireenu) Not everyone who is suffering has the ability to reach help. So if you're not suffering from depression, you come. I was lucky to have such a person in my life many years ago. He saved my life. You could be that person for your loved ones. (1800)-273-8255— Shireen Unvala (@shireenu) And then there was the category that hit me the hardest: people who had suffered depression and decided that it was now the right time to tell their own stories. The host of the NPR comedy contest from the Wait, Wait, Don't tell me, it was a person like that, a USA Today columnist, it was another. Both hinted that in their darkest days they had sheltered thoughts of suicide. Such stories—or rather the accumulation of such stories—have a brutal truth: depression is much more common than you might think. And the people who would never expect to suffer from depression — doesn't Sagal say jokes to live? These stories also speak of the stigma that still binds to depression. Untreated depression can cost people their marriages, their jobs, their friends, and yes, their lives. However, too often, people who suffer from depression are afraid to recognize it, for fear or shame. The decision to leave the depression closet usually comes after a great hesitation — and as part of a conscious effort to say aloud that depression is a medical condition, not a defect of character. Stigmatizing is not just counterproductive, it's dangerous. I know these feelings because I've had them myself in the last few years, as I've gone back and forth about whether to tell my own depression story. Like the others who have come out after the deaths of Spade and Bourdain, my answer — at last — is yes. So here he goes. Twelve years ago, when I was 54 and lived a seemingly blessed life, I decided to divorce myself. That decision, though the right one for me, consumed me with guilt, and made me fall into a paralysing depression, something I had never experienced before. I lost all interest in everything; my brain became an endless loop of anxious and dark thoughts. I barely got out of bed. My work, which had always been so central in my life, made no sense. In Thanksgiving that year, I was so paralyzed that I could barely talk to my own children. It was the only time in my life that I had suicidal impulses. I went through that first depression with the help of a new psychologist, some anxiety medicine, and my ex-wife who, despite everything, helped me get back to health. Because the depression had never been part of my makeup, my assumption of work was that it was a step forward. It was the result, I assumed, that I was traumatized by thinking of divorceing a good person with whom I had raised three children and shared a life for more than 30 years. But I was wrong. Somehow that episode caused something, or changed something, in my brain. Three years later, I had a second depression fight. And then a third a few years after that. And a room. In the middle I would have long sections of normality, as well as shorter sections than I now realize was mild mania—hypomania, it is called— during which I would feel invincible. In the middle age, I had become bipolar. Except I resisted that diagnosis with every fiber of my being. It was partly because I was terrified by the idea of having to take lithium, the medicine of choice for people with bipolar disorder. (Did it not have side effects that caused patients to stop taking it?) But it was also because I was ashamed. Why? I can't say it. But that feeling was real, and it was powerful. Because these subsequent depressions were not as severe as the first, I decided to push through them. I went to work as if nothing was wrong, and somehow managed to write two columns a week for the New York Times, where I was employed at the time. But my thought was deteriorating, and sometimes I drew the non-sequiturs during the interviews, which did not improve my ability to get the information I was looking for. I would spin the wheels for days, unable to climb with a column idea until the last possible second, which put me under the limit pressure type that does not make for good writing or good thinking. Worst of all, as a direct consequence of being depressed, I made several important mistakes in fact that required substantial corrections in the newspaper and apologies from me. These mistakes not only discredited me, but also painfully embarrassed the Times editorial page. No small part because of those mistakes, my boss, who had no idea that I suffered from depression, had finally sent me to the sports section. My most recent depression fight came two years ago. This time I decided to recognize the sports editor who was depressed, although I assumed that I would try to push him again. But I was acting erraticly in the office, and his eternal credit, he was not willing to look on the other side. He insisted that I was on leave so that I could improve at home, with the help of my family and without the pressures of work. Which I did. That was the summer when I finally agreed that I had become bipolar in the middle of my life, I agreed to let my doctor prescribe lithium, and started telling friends that I suffered from depression. When I returned to the office after a two-month leave and the colleagues asked me where I had gone, I gave them an answer that I had never given before: I had depressed, I said, and needed free time to improve. Like many others, the stigma of depression prevented me from telling people that I needed to know that I was sick. Now I realize. If I'd been willing to recognize my illness, I could have avoided those mistakes and maintained a decent relationship with my boss. In trying to hide my depression, I've damaged my career and an institution that mattered to me a lot. Many stigmas have disappeared fortunately over the years. There used to be a stigma associated with cancer, but that's gone to a large extent. Being gay used to be stigmatized, but most of the country is no longer true. In the 1960s, there was a stigma attached to being in the army; now the service of people is glorified in our culture. It used to be that the depressed people were told that they needed to shake it or "shot for their boots." That attitude has faded when people come to understand that depression is a disease and that those who have it cannot shake it more than someone with cancer can shake that disease. As more than a year that suffers a major depressive episode tell their stories, the stigma will surely rise. Not fast enough. Joe Nocera (COM'74) is a Bloomberg columnist Opinion that covers the business and co-author of Indentured: The inner story of rebellion against the NCAA. He has written business columns for Esquire, GQ and the New York Times, and is the former editorial director of Fortune. It can be reached in . This column originally appeared in Bloomberg.com. Those interested in seeking confidential advice on mental health can contact, , , suicide , and the UB's "POV" is one that provides timely feedback from students, teachers and staff on a variety of issues: on campus, local, state, national or international. Anyone interested in sending a piece, which should have about 700 words long, should contact Rich Barlow at . BU Today reserves the right to refuse or edit the presentations. The opinions expressed are only those of the author and are not intended to represent the views of the University of Boston. SharePOV: Hiding My Depression Almost Destroyed My WorkShareJoe Nocera (COM'74) Joe Nocera (COM'74) Comments " DiscussionBoston The comments of the university moderates to facilitate an informed, substantive civil conversation. Abusive, profane, self-promotional, deceptive, incoherent or out-of-the-the-the-board comments will be rejected. Moderators are employed during regular business hours (EST) and can only accept written comments in English. There are 2 comments about POV: Hiding My Depression Almost Destruyed My Job Katharine Dear Joe, Thank you so much for sharing your story with our community. His courage to talk about depression is inspiring and makes others know that they are not alone. Thanks to BU Today, also, for offering Joe's POV and helping to destigmatize mental health concerns on our campus. BU alum Thank you so much for sharing your story and helping reduce the stigma of mental illness. I cannot imagine the challenge of developing a mental illness later in life and having to face it in the midst of personal and professional demands. Write a comment. Your email address will not be published. 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[NeedAdvice] Depression is ruining my life[NeedAdvice] Depression is ruining my life Hi.I'm 29 years old and I have a 5-year career in an area that I don't care about, but I'm good. I have a title in an unrelated area, but I don't want to follow that path anymore. I haven't worked with anxiety and depression for months (I'm on tablets to help). I started getting better, but then I came back when I got back to work. Now I'm worse than before. I'm so sad all the time. My body is exhausted. I think I have the flu to be run away. I know I want to leave my job because I'm getting sick, but I can't, because it's my only way to make the ends meet and I can't go back to work for a minor. I love creative writing, but the thought of writing articles about things that don't interest me makes me sadder. I'm sick of living my life doing shit that I don't care about two flying shits, to make others happy. I want to make myself happy, but I need to keep winning. I don't know what to do. I'm so lost. Does anyone have any advice? I'm from the UK if that makes the difference. I've fought against severe depression for 20 years... Even if you can only do one of these things next a day, you're looking for any momentum right now. Praise you for anything you did today that you didn't do yesterday. Do not compare yourself to the dreams you have of your ideal being, or who you were a week/year/decade, either. Focus on being a step forward from just yesterday. He lives in a 48-hour period... yesterday " today. Get Blood Work Ask a specific question for:Cholesterol (is your "good" or omega 3 cholesterol too low?) TestosteronaVitamin D!! You live in the UK where there are few sunny days. You need supplements. Anything else the doctor thinks might be affecting your mood. Do monkey tests. If you really think you have the flu, you also have the doctor test other probable culprits. Does your throat hurt? Make a blood cell. Do a dream study done, are you sleeping properly or is it something like sleep apnea ruining your life? My philosophy is that if you're miserable, you could also make yourself miserable, soo... Start eating ridiculously healthy and easy food. You could start buying something like that. Eat eggs, oats, fruits and vegetables such as celery sticks " carrots babies. Eat 5 bananas a day if that's what you need, who cares anyway, right? Make sure you know how to make the oatmeal easy and fast. I'll eat it three times a day if I can't get together to do something else. I put 1/2 cup to 1 cup in a bowl, rinse with water, but not enough for it to float, to dive into the microwave for 90 seconds. Then I'll just put a little nut, honey, royal maple syrup etc. to make it pallative and/or add berries / slices debanana and/or add nuts such as crushed peanuts / almonds / waxes, etc. Sometimes I'll make it clear. I take 10,000 mg of vitamin D a day to keep my vitamin D levels on average. I've been doing it for 10 years. I don't know what's in the UK, but Costco/Kirkland is the best brand in the U.S., you may need to do some research or ask your doctor. Buy a (if the money is adjusted for you, it might be covered if you ask your doctor about it)I recommend setting up the light bulb of the day in a light blue room to simulate a sunny day. Otherwise, you can get a very fine and transparent blue plexiglas sheet to record at the front. Take a fish oil supplement at each meal or buy soilless linen seed, and put it in oats or whatever. Every time you start to have bad thoughts, put your headphones on playing the most ridiculously optimistic music you can think, try to turn your brain off, and go for a walk. "Stop your brain" may mean you're intentionally hyperfocused on things. Like, looking at a building, counting bricks, guessing what age it is, etc. Not all drugs work the same in all. I have one who works wonders for me, and 5 I have tried to make it worse than anything at all. Try to eliminate toxic people from your life, adding more casual social experiences. Who criticizes you? I don't care if they're your loving mother, get them out. Just send emails and tell them you need to focus on your career and life right now. For casual social experiences, go to libraries and read in the company of strangers. Go to the cafeterias and read or look red on your phone. If you're ready to do more, look for some kind of group/club meeting you're interested in. In short, when he's depressed, you tend to try to take care of yourself as if you were sick. You go after comfort. You'll sleep more. You will take it "easy" (not exercise). You'll be distracted. Unfortunately, while that's a natural reaction to being sick, it makes him depressed worse. I'm saving this comment. Thank you. I'm serious. These tips changed my life. I have gone from a very dark place, where I was very depressed and with deep suicidal thoughts and plans, to a warm, charming and full of life, mainly thanks to what you said there. I'm glad I didn't give up, and instead he just started pushing me to be the best and healthiest version of myself that could be. Follow these tips. They're really the truth. I would also recommend making friends and building strong relationships. I can't say thankful enough that I'm for the friends I have. I embrace them every day, and I say I love them, because they always support me, and they always do the same to me when I need more. Persecuting a personal objective also works, such as being an artist, expressing itself in some way. All these feelings and changes made me drop medications and start enjoying being alive. This guy knows his sh*t... Thanks for the insightful response, I've been fighting depression too for about 20 years and your comment made me realize that I forgot to do many of these things. I am also from the UK and have been working in the mental health sector for a decade. Go back to your GP and tell them again that they need to know that the medication doesn't work, they can't help you if you don't give them regular feedback. Your doctor may suggest few services to see, may alter your medication not all tables work for all people, so it's a bit of success and lack. Don't neglect it. I know everything feels like an effort right now. You can't throw yourself in depression rear straps, you need professional help. Also check this with additional information. Things you can do besides yourself. Find in healthy diet and general health, start taking a daily walk. The healthy body is proven to be beneficial in fighting depression, talking to people close to you who trust you need a support network and who love you and want you to succeed. Do small things in a house. I know it's cliché but make your bed. It's not just about doing a bad thing but putting those little efforts that make your living space more enjoyable. If your environment looks bad, you start feeling low. It will get better over time, but remember that depression comes in cycles that you may be at a low point that you need to support through it and work towards your new high point. Thank you. I am from the UK and some of my friends (and I) fight with depression. Definitely get back to the doctor if the pills are working. Speaking of personal experience both therapy and meditation have helped a lot. If you have any negative comments on your brain, consider reviewing them as well. The NHS must have waiting lists but they are long and involve group therapy - if you are lucky to have in your area make sure to check them out. They are a great charity that imparts courses and sessions of free therapy. With meditation, something as small as five minutes a day can help. It will feel stupid at first but studies have shown it to be effective. Put a timer on your phone for five minutes, find a comfortable place to sit, start the timer and concentrate on your breathing. The goal is to think of anything - if you think of something, go back to your breathing. I've been doing it ten minutes a day for the past month or so and it's helped me a lot. Besides, with your work, I've been going through a similar situation recently. Student Finance in the UK has recently started funding Masters students up to 10k to study. I used it to retrain in my chosen area at Master level. (I'm lucky I can - it's a fairly open topic.) Consider if you have something you've always wanted to study. Otherwise therapy really helped me on that trip; speaking out loud about my frustrations and worries helped me understand what I wanted to do. With meditation, something as small as five minutes a day can help. It will feel stupid at first but studies have shown it to be effective. Put a timer on your phone for five minutes, find a comfortable place to sit, start the timer and concentrate on your breathing. The goal is to think of anything - if you think of something, go back to your breathing. I've been doing it ten minutes a day for the past month or so and it's helped me a lot. With meditation, something as small as five minutes a day can help. It will feel stupid at first but studies have shown it to be effective. Put a timer on your phone for five minutes, find a comfortable place to sit, start the timer and concentrate on your breathing. The goal is to think of anything - if you think of something, go back to your breathing. I've been doing it ten minutes a day for the past month or so and it's helped me a lot. You can start with the application of headspace that will guide you and incite you daily to meditate. I have a space to help, will I do better? I didn't think of doing a master... It could be something to look at. Thank you. Another then all the medical advice you should definitely adhere to these are things I've done. When I cleaned up drugs, that was a big question I had to solve. How can I be happy? Leaving "recreational drugs" Weed kept me very depressed and lazy for a long time. Once I got through that I had to start to figure out how to be happy without changing my feelings with a substance. I started trying random things, started drawing, I have some house plants to take care of. He got involved in helping other people and made new friends. I literally started to make little touches in my life. Almost none of the things I tried stuck, not even some of the friends I made but they all took a step further from the place I hated, to a place I enjoyed. A couple more things... smoking fast was a big change I made I never realized how the nicotine was upsetting and how depressed and anxious it made me. Once I quit smoking, I started focusing on my diet and exercise. Eating clean unprocessed food made a big difference in the way I felt. I guess my experience was when I stopped worrying about changing my whole life, and I started to focus on trying new small things that slowly began to change the way I saw myself in the world as I introduced new experiences in my life. Why not try writing to have fun in your free time. My wife does this and has been working on a YA book. I swear she's the happiest one when she's getting into her book. I definitely understand how the job sucks you. There's nothing spent on finding a new job if it sucks life out of you. You never feel like you're locked up in anything. The most liberating thing for me in my life was to learn that there is always a way out of where you never want to be. I want to be a published author someday. I'm going to see small steps towards this, thank you.While OP is in the UK with the brilliant NHS scheme (and I know that those in the UK are begging to differ, but really- consider what's going on in the United States. People here can't even see a doctor.) I would love to see this answered for those without the ability to go to a doctor too if someone has advice there. OP- please go see your GP, certain medicines work best for certain people, and it may be a pain in the ass to find what works best for you but you can! Trust me, we agree that the NHS is a great assortment of problems :) For the general council nothing exceeds therapy. But little things general to improve their overall quality of life. Do small things like keeping good personal hygiene, taking care of your health, taking care of your environment. Do not avoid social contact, but have some people around a house in small voices. Read about the reasons behind depression. The concept of risky mind and wise mind can help find a book about it in the psychology section. Try to get away from the situation if you feel like "I'm a worthless shit" asking yourself "If my friend was in this situation, would you feel like they were useless shits? "Find online support groups also us here, and other related subs if there are additional problems leading to depression. The most important thing is to accept the cycles in which your depression is for many people is quite regular for example 2 months high followed by 2 weeks low. Make journals and learn to recognize when the bass are installed and remember that the shell passes. How's your exercise routine? Don't you have one? Start right now with a long quick ride. Then start tomorrow with the same thing. It doesn't matter if you're running away or you feel like you've got flu. You can still take a walk. Don't think about it too much, just do it. How's your exercise routine? Don't you have one? Start right now with a long quick ride. Then start tomorrow with the same thing. How's your exercise routine? Don't you have one? Start right now with a long quick ride. Then start tomorrow with the same thing. Good advice. They say exercise helps with giving you endorphins, which is something you need more when you're down. I think exercising regularly also gives you an impulse of self-esteem. Lucky I live on a good track-shaped road, huh? I enjoy the autumn air. Go see a doctor and tell them what you told us. Make an appointment. Start actively persuing other avenues of writing that attract you. You have a skill. There's more than one place that can use you. I'm not saying start a business, but I'm a great proponent of being autonomous, there's risk but the roof is unlimited if you can find the album. Aim big. The most important thing is that you can't do this while you're sick. I'd probably see a psychiatrist for correct drugs and psychology for therapy until you start seeing some move forward. Then leave that ball and chain job and find something better. Good luck. MembersOnline

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